Showing posts tagged sexism.
x

baubles of my mind's eye

"Suppose a man makes unwanted social advances to a woman in, let’s say, a restaurant or theatre, and she eventually has to tell him loudly or angrily to get lost. She is the one who will be perceived as rude, hostile, aggressive, and obnoxious. His verbal aggression and invasiveness are accepted and expected; her rudeness (or mere curtness) in getting rid of him is noticed and condemned. One of our great myths is that a “real lady” can and should handle any difficulty, defuse any assault, without ever raising her voice or losing her manners. Female rudeness or violence in resistance to male aggression has often been taken to prove that the woman was not a lady in the first place, and therefore deserved no respect from the aggressor or sympathy from others."
D.A. Clarke, “A Woman With a Sword” (via wretchedoftheearth)

(via aliveforalittlewhile)

— 1 year ago with 15359 notes

#politeness  #harassment  #sexism  #misogyny  #anger  #boundaries 
what you said was:"i don't respect women who don't respect themselves"
what you meant was:"i and society as a whole hold women up to ridiculous respectability standards directly relating to the "purity" of said women while hypersexualizing them at the same time and if you are a woman and don't fit my awkward monolith of criteria then i refuse to acknowledge your humanity"
what i heard was:"hi i'm a misogynist piece of shit, please punch me in my face"
— 1 year ago with 42558 notes

#respect  #objectification  #sexualization  #dehumanization  #sexism  #misogyny 
azaadiart:

kalisherni:

been feeling this for the last few weeks especially with ma sisters Patriarchal words, actions, thoughts are so poisonous & makes monsters.of course patriarchy is many things tho 
it is draining and sucks the energy & life outta youim tired
we are still enduring this,skin stretch across borders wrinkled wordstears that flowed into rage & back- is the path always going to be thorny? the poison shot me the surface wound is now a scab, a scar but i still feel the bullet i will always feel the bullet 

<3  <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 love you khushboo.
zeher, poison jaisa
white supremacist cis-hetero-patriarchy…


Thank you. It’s so hard to scrape together hope, & I don’t know how to cope when it’s smashed by being dehumanized & disrespected at every turn. This poem, with it’s perfect understanding of this pain, breaks through some of the crushing isolation this toxicity brings about. Thank you for turning your pain into beauty, realness, that can help us heal. <3

azaadiart:

kalisherni:

been feeling this for the last few weeks especially with ma sisters 
Patriarchal words, actions, thoughts are so poisonous & makes monsters.
of course patriarchy is many things tho 

it is draining and sucks the energy & life outta you
im tired

we are still enduring this,
skin stretch across borders 
wrinkled words
tears that flowed into rage & back- 
is the path always going to be thorny? 
the poison shot me 
the surface wound is now a scab, a scar 
but i still feel the bullet 
i will always feel the bullet 

<3  <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 love you khushboo.


zeher, poison jaisa

white supremacist cis-hetero-patriarchy…

Thank you. It’s so hard to scrape together hope, & I don’t know how to cope when it’s smashed by being dehumanized & disrespected at every turn. This poem, with it’s perfect understanding of this pain, breaks through some of the crushing isolation this toxicity brings about. Thank you for turning your pain into beauty, realness, that can help us heal. <3

(via querida-guerrilla)

— 1 year ago with 52 notes

#truth  #sexism  #solidarity  #feminisms  #healing  #survival  #poetry  #social toxicity 
"

Here’s a situation every woman is familiar with: some guy she knows, perhaps a casual acquaintance, perhaps just some dude at the bus stop, is obviously infatuated with her. He’s making conversation, he’s giving her the eye. She doesn’t like him. She doesn’t want to talk to him. She doesn’t want him near her. He is freaking her out. She could disobey the rules, and tell him to GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER, and continue screaming GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME every time he tries to step closer, or speak to her again. And then he will be all, “I was just talking to you! WTF!” and everybody else will be all, “Yeah, seriously, why’d you freak out at a guy just talking to you?” and refuse to offer the support she needs to be safe from dude. Or, the guy might become hostile, violent even. Ladies, you’ve seen that look, the “bitch can’t ignore me” look. It’s a source of constant confusion, as soon as you start budding breasts, that the man who just a moment ago told you how pretty you are is now calling you a stupid ugly whore, all because you didn’t get in his car.

OR

You could follow the rules. You could flirt back a little, look meek, not talk, not move away. You might have to put up with a lot more talking, you might have to put up with him trying to ask you out to lunch every day, you might even have to go out to lunch with him. You might have to deal with him copping a feel. But he won’t turn violent on you, and neither will the spectators who have watched him browbeat you into a frightened and flirtatious corner.

So we learn the rules will protect us. We learn that, when we step out of line, somebody around us might very well turn crazy. Might hurt us. And we won’t be defended by onlookers, who think we’ve provoked the crazy somehow. So, having your ass grabbed at the bus stop, having to go out to dinner with a guy you fucking can’t stand, maybe even having to fuck him once or twice, it’s a small sacrifice to avoid being ostracized, insulted, verbally abused, and possibly physically assaulted.

It’s a rude fucking awakening when a woman gets raped, and follows the rules she has been taught her whole life — doesn’t refuse to talk, doesn’t refuse to flirt, doesn’t walk away ignoring him, doesn’t hit, doesn’t scream, doesn’t fight, doesn’t raise her voice, doesn’t deny she liked kissing — and finds out after that she is now to blame for the rape. She followed the rules. The rules that were supposed to keep the rape from happening. The rules that would keep her from being fair game for verbal and physical abuse. Breaking the rules is supposed to result in punishment, not following them. For every time she lowered her voice, let go of a boundary, didn’t move away, let her needs be conveniently misinterpreted, and was given positive reinforcement and a place in society, she is now being told that all that was wrong, this one time, and she should have known that, duh.

For anybody who has ever watched the gendered social interactions of women — watched a woman get browbeaten into accepting attention she doesn’t want, watched a woman get interrupted while speaking, watched a woman deny she is upset at being insulted in public, watched a woman get grabbed because of what she was wearing, watched a woman stop arguing — and said and done nothing, you never have the right to ever ask, “Why didn’t she fight back?”

She didn’t fight back because you told her not to. Ever. Ever. You told her that was okay, and necessary, and right.

You didn’t give her a caveat. You didn’t say, “Unless…” You said, “Good for you, shutting up and backing down 99% of the time. Too bad that 1% of the time makes you a fucking whore who deserved it.”

Nobody obtains the superpower to behave dramatically differently during a frightening confrontation. Women will behave the same way they have been taught to behave in all social, professional, and sexual interactions. And they will be pretty goddamned surprised to come out the other end and find out that means they can legally be raped at any time, by just about anybody.

"

http://fugitivus.wordpress.com/2009/06/26/another-post-about-rape-3/ (via seebster)

UGH, something similar happened on the bus last Summer. I was on my way downtown with my headphones  plugged in when this guy, somewhere in his early 20s, I’d guess got on and sat across from me. He kept staring at me then looking away while I pretended I didn’t notice him there. Then he decides to start gesturing at me in order to get my attention, so I took off one of my headphones and he proceeded to just start interrogating me about my life and telling me his life story, and I really just want to ride the bus in peace and not have to feel uncomfortable with the way he’s staring at me really intently. The bus is packed with people, and he’s speaking pretty loudly, so everyone is just watching the exchange and I can tell from their expressions that they think it’s cute. For a moment he stops talking and I take that as a sign that the conversation is over, so I start to put my headphone back on, but he stops me by saying, “don’t you want to talk with me?” An old woman gives me this look that clearly says I will be the bad guy if I try to back out of the conversation. So I grit my teeth and remove my headphone. That’s when he decides to ask me to come hang out at his place. What the fuck? I don’t KNOW you. I tell him no thanks, and he continues to pester me about it, leaning in really close so his hand is nearly touching my leg. Finally I just snapped, “I have a boyfriend.” And he backs up, blustering about how this was a friend thing and not to get ahead of myself. He stopped talking to me then. And it really fucking pissed me off that the only reason he stopped is because he thought there was another guy in the mix. The rest of that ride was one of the most uncomfortable situations I’ve ever been, because he never stopped staring at me up until the point when he was getting off at his stop. And people wonder why women often feel unsafe in public places.

(via studies-in-ontology)

(via cunningcunt-deactivated20140510)

— 1 year ago with 19093 notes

#rape culture  #feminism  #harassment  #violence against women  #sexism  #misogyny 
"Anita Posey was a dedicated caseworker for children at the Dept. of Social Services for 20 years. Her boyfriend was a drug addict and de aler, and an extremely violent man. She had black eyes, a fractured nose, broken tooth and lips, three cracked ribs, and other injuries over the years. She shot him in defense of her baby, after he had thrown the baby at the wall. The court wrongfully convicted and sentenced her, stating that she had time to think between the time her boyfriend threw the baby and th e time she picked up the gun “60 to 90 seconds” and unjustly called it premeditated."

The Michigan Women’s Justice & Clemency Project

because i’m just fucking sick and tired of everybody wanting to “talk” about and “complicate” yet another fucking murdering man’s life and history—I decided to highlight the women of Michigan who are currently in prison/serving life sentences for murdering abusive male partners and/or committing crimes under threat of abuse by male partners.

Anita Posey struck me as particularly important to highlight because her case points to exactly how fucked up the situation is for mothers in particular—do you know HOW many fucking women I’ve spotlighted/done stories on through the fucking YEARS who have been imprisoned for 20 yrs, some times life, because they *didn’t* “defend” their children? Do you know how many women are sitting in prison right now for the crime of being abused by their partner and not being able to stop their partner from abusing their children?

and yet, a woman kills the man who has beat her WHILE he’s hurting her children—and she STILL winds up in prison.

THESE WOMEN are the people who we DESPERATLY need to understand. along with the cultural mentality in the US that expects women to not only stop men from raping them and beating them, but also expects them to stop men from abusing the kids—while ALL OF SOCIETY STANDS BY AND WATCHES.

(via illegalplumpudding)

(via bohemianarthouse)

— 1 year ago with 3783 notes

#justice system  #sexism  #violence against women 
maisonmarleymummyxo:

headsfullofbeez:

notyourmamasmumblr:

amorousoutlaw:

A mother was harassed at a nurse in while protesting the harassment of parents nursing their children. Smh. Yet another disgusting symptom of the hyper sexualization of women’s bodies.

Heres the contact info for the DE mall that IGNORED the law protecting this woman and asked them to leave. Also the mall who called it an eyesore and comparing it to them “sucking his wifes breasts in public”

this is absolutely disgusting. i cannot wait to cause all the ruckus for nursing in public!

What the hell! This is disgusting,has this really how we treat mothers? People need to make this more public and really embarass this mall.

maisonmarleymummyxo:

headsfullofbeez:

notyourmamasmumblr:

amorousoutlaw:

A mother was harassed at a nurse in while protesting the harassment of parents nursing their children. Smh. Yet another disgusting symptom of the hyper sexualization of women’s bodies.

Heres the contact info for the DE mall that IGNORED the law protecting this woman and asked them to leave. Also the mall who called it an eyesore and comparing it to them “sucking his wifes breasts in public”

this is absolutely disgusting. i cannot wait to cause all the ruckus for nursing in public!

What the hell! This is disgusting,has this really how we treat mothers? People need to make this more public and really embarass this mall.

(Source: bruja-ja, via bohemianarthouse)

— 1 year ago with 73 notes

#sexism  #Delaware  #breastfeeding  #rights 
"For women, getting angry is socially unacceptable, even when the anger is over violence, discrimination, misogyny, and other forms of oppression. Anger is unacceptable because angry women are women in touch with their passion and power, especially in relation to men, which threatens the entire patriarchal order. It’s unacceptable because it forces men to confront the reality of male privilege and women’s oppression and their involvement in it, even if only as passive beneficiaries. Women’s anger challenges men to acknowledge attempts to trivialize oppression with “I was only kidding.” And women’s anger is unacceptable to men who look to women to take care of them, to prop up their need to feel in control, and to support them in their competition with other men. When women are less than gracious and good-humored about their own oppression, men often feel uncomfortable, embarrassed, at a loss, and therefore vulnerable."

Allan G. Johnson (via swordssoarewords)

And maybe this is where the whole, “You must be on your period.” dismissal comes from. Women, justifiably angry about something, use their period as a way of retractio when the man become upset or defensive.

(via marjchaos)

(Source: yoursocialconstructsareshowing, via xicanaxingona)

— 1 year ago with 2591 notes

#anger  #feminism  #gender  #sexism  #power  #emotions  #misogyny 
"Facebook bans woman for outing sexism" via Bust →

the-uncensored-she:

lostgrrrls:

This is all kinds of fucked. Icelandic woman creates a photo album to document all the sexist shit she sees on Facebook, then this happens:

Responses to the album have been varied. Along with praise, Hildur has received a number of death threats. Last month, an Icelandic man made a public Facebook status saying, “If I ‘accidentally’ ran over Hildur, she is probably the only person on earth that I would back up over, and leave the car on top of her with the hand brake on!! Put this in your ‘men who hate Hildur’ folder, Hildur Lilliendahl.”

So she did. And now Facebook has given her a 30-day ban for posting screenshots of other people’s Facebook statuses, which is against Facebook guidelines — even when those statuses are public.

And Facebook says it’s because of their anti-bullying policy.

FUCK THAT. Because calling someone sexist is worse bullying than a death threat?

Fuck you and your blatant misogyny, Facebook.

Wasn’t I also just hearing yesterday about a woman who, when she reported a terribly sexist page (one of upskirt photos ones, I think I recall?) she was the one who ended up getting banned for supposedly having two facebook pages or not using her real name or something? And the page she reported is still up?

I mean, it doesn’t seem facebook ever takes down those really awful pages that I’ve reported (and know many of you have) so… I don’t know what else I expected.

So creep-shots and rape-threats are a-okay with Facebook. But women fighting back? Oh no! Can’t have some uppity ass b*tches ruining all the fun of The Dudebro Collective.

(Source: lostgrrrls, via aliveforalittlewhile)

— 1 year ago with 920 notes

#facebook  #sexism 

egyptiansoapbox:

Cultures that endorse modesty and cultures that endorse hypersexualization are the *same* thing. Both define female sexuality by how it relates to the male gaze. In both cases the female body exists as an ornament either to be kept carefully hidden or put on display. Neither is an empowering feminist achievement. 

(via underglass-deactivated20140723)

— 1 year ago with 23096 notes

#this  #sexuality  #male gaze  #truth  #objectification  #sexism  #Puritanism  #hypersexualization 
[trigger warning: rape] look

aboutmaleprivilege:

Your lawn, if you have one (I fucking don’t), is made of blades of grass.

Each blade of grass grows from a seed.

But it needs time to do that. And it needs care to continue to do it, when blades dry and die and new ones replace them.

This is sexism. Okay?

This is racism, ableism, homophobia.

People not affected daily by these things only see one blade of grass. They think we’re complaining about something unimportant. (“Sandwich jokes are funny!” “What’s the big deal with wearing a headdress??” “But I don’t mean the R word like THAT…you killjoy”)

But we have to deal with the whole goddamn lawn. That lawn has been there for many, many years. It’s maintained by those blades of grass, and each individual one has a part in the whole.

There are people affected by the lawn who try to see it the way people unaffected see it (women misogynists, “I like sandwich jokes and I’m a girl!”). Yeah, they’re still sexist no matter how fucking funny you find them. And if you say someone who tells them “doesn’t mean it”, maybe another person will copy them, and they do fucking mean it.

That lawn is a comfortable place for the privileged. For the marginalized, it’s hell. That lawn is rape culture and police brutality. That lawn is self-loathing and internalized misogyny, racism, homophobia, and ableism. That lawn is the ignorance of others and the lack of support. That lawn is the privileged telling you “it doesn’t hurt me, so it can’t hurt you!”

Those blades of grass are knives to us, for real. Every day.

(Source: all-about-male-privilege, via thestylishvelociraptor)

— 1 year ago with 129 notes

#firework-comic cares  #rape culture  #sexism  #misogyny  #privilege  #male  #racism  #ableism 
Iowa Supreme Court: Bosses can fire employees they see as an ‘irresistible attraction’

face-down-asgard-up:

topsecretclownbusiness:

shonecakeyulelog:

glitchyclaus:

breakingnews:

The Iowa Supreme Court ruled that bosses can fire employees they see as an “irresistible attraction,” even if the employees have not engaged in flirtatious behavior or otherwise done anything wrong.

The Associated Press reported that the all-male court ruled on Friday that a dentist acted legally when he fired an assistant that he found attractive simply because he and his wife viewed the woman as a threat to their marriage.

More from the Associated Press here.

so I see no one is blogging about this

jesus waht

E W 

WELP

BRB GONNA GO SCREAM ABOUT THIS INTO THE WIND

— 1 year ago with 2191 notes

#Sexual Harassment  #sexism  #misogyny 
Game Changer Why Gaming Culture Allows Abuse... and How We Can Stop It →

discovergames:

This fantastic article over at Bitch magazine (and written by a Border House editor) takes a look at a handful of the highest-profile instances of abuse in gaming culture this year, and puts them under a sociological lens.  The article brings in researchers and other voices to help explain what is happening right now.

More people are finally taking notice of the abuse. But there’s still a dearth of discussion on why it’s happening. The culprit isn’t anonymity, often the go-to answer for why the Internet can’t have nice things. Instead, it’s believing in the exceptionality of the Internet—and online gaming—that allows the abuses within, and it is enabled every time someone utters “It’s just a game.”

That phrase is the machine to which oppressive power dynamics are the ghost. How many times have you heard someone say “It’s the Internet; you shouldn’t take that seriously”? This kind of thinking supports the idea you can do anything you want with no consequences, when in all actuality, virtual actions like sexual harassment, stalking, abuse, prejudice in all of its forms—racism, sexism, transphobia, or all of the above—do have consequences.

It goes on to delve much deeper into the issues of harassment, “male spaces” and how the privileged strive to maintain the status quo.  All in all a very well written and fascinating piece.

(via mismages)

— 1 year ago with 204 notes

#Video games  #gaming  #sexism  #nerdery  #harassment  #misogyny  #gamer misogyny 
"Men often react to women’s words - speaking and writing - as if they were acts of violence; sometimes men react to women’s words with violence. So we lower our voices. Women whisper, Women apologize. Women shut up. Women trivialize what we know. Women shrink. Women pull back. Most women have experienced enough dominance from men - control, violence, insult, contempt - that no threat seems empty"
Andrea Dworkin, Intercourse (via tabularasae)

(Source: echo-chamber, via meadowhillele)

— 1 year ago with 7348 notes

#sexism  #feminism 

dastardlyinfection:

In a racist society, racism is the default position

In a sexist society, sexism is the default position

In a transphobic society, transphobia is the default position

If you are white/male/cis and you do nothing to address your privilege, you are racist/sexist/transphobic by default

(Source: , via queerlyfantastical-deactivated2)

— 1 year ago with 844 notes

#oppression  #privilege  #racism  #transphobia  #sexism 

reverseracism:

Has anyone noticed who’s allowed to be sensitive and offended? Those who are marginalized and/or institutionally oppressed are told that they are being too sensitive while at the same time they are told to be sensitive to the needs and feelings of their oppressors and those who are apathetic to the problems they face.

(via the-goddamazon)

— 1 year ago with 982 notes

#truth  #racism  #sexism  #ableism  #oppression  #transphobia  #privilege